Last month, due to multiple injuries that pumped the brakes on my training (IT Band and hamstring mostly), I made the decision to drop out of the 50k I had planned for May 10th. It wasn't necessarily a difficult decision, because when you can't run more than a mile without intense pain running a 30+ mile race on hilly terrain is simply out of the question.
I would be lying though if I were to say that I didn't persistently train in a state of denial, and denial being the brother of stubbornness, for me has always been strong. My first idea, as ludicrous as it sounds, was that I should continue to run through the pain, and perhaps my leg would adapt to the new reality, and heal itself through movement. I do not recommend this method, though I take pride somewhat in the amount of physical pain I can endure during intense exercise, this was not pain, it was injury and to an extent that I am limited in my ability to describe.
I felt two things in my left leg with every step: 1) As if a hand wrapped around my hamstring and were pulling it away from my leg behind me, and 2) my IT Band (the tendon that runs along the outside of the knee) clicked against my bone like a plucked string in an instrument, sending a vibration of pain down my knee, ankle and foot.
What happened? Well, I'm sure there are a lot of things that went into it. Form wasn't much of an issue, since that was something I had been working on for over 2 years at that point (and the only thing left being slouched shoulders when I'm tired). I assume it was a healthy mixture of too much too soon, neglecting strength training, and biting off a tad more than I could chew. In regards to the last point, I would much rather do that than timidly approach an easily attainable goal.
So here I was, unable to run for any meaningful amount of time, so what do I do?
I'm convinced that the depression that comes with physical injury is evolutionary as well as metaphysical. Evolutionary in a sense that for most of our existence a leg injury that kept us from running meant no hunting and no food. Metaphysical because we do not have a body we are a body, when a limb is injured so is the mind.
Aristotle believed that physical "arete" or excellence was to be approached with a careful balance and was just as important as excellence of the mind. And for fear of sounding haughty, excellence in this context means the best version of yourself. Therefore, my individual arete may be miles behind yours, but as long as I'm focused on the betterment of myself, Aristotle would say that I am in accord with "eudaimonia" or ultimate happiness.
This is something that I had forgotten in my 50k pursuit. It became less about me developing as an individual to the greatest version of myself, and more about illusory pride and arrogance.
Exercise quit being a journey and became a struggle. A struggle to stay motivated, lug the miles, eat the food, repeat.
So ultimately I am glad for my injury. Not only because it forced me to rest, but because it reintroduced me to strength training, yoga and plyometrics. I feel stronger and more able now than when I could run 10+ miles back-to-back.
The pursuit of arete is exactly that, a pursuit, the following of your inner excellence. What I am enjoying most right now, is what the constant challenge of the pursuit teaches me about myself.
Notes
Aristotle, "Nicomachean Ethics"
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